Childhood Origins of Personality Health or Dysfunction

Human development is complex, yet comprehensible. A human being’s biogenetic heritage, psychosocial development, and spiritual propensity all influence the ongoing development of personality and interpersonal relationships. 

There are sensitive periods for particular developmental tasks which emerge at particular times during this process. Infants, for example, are genetically predisposed to form an attachment bond with an adult in the first year of life. Yet whether or not this developmental need is met depends upon the intricate interplay between an infant’s biological predisposition, the style of parenting the infant perceives, and the immediate socio-economic environment.

How does compass psychotheology regard the developmental process? By viewing personality and interpersonal development as significantly influenced by the ratio of core trust versus core fear a child experiences. If core trust prevails, the child grows increasingly capable of exercising compass choices. Love in rhythm with Assertion, Weakness with Strength. But if core fear outweighs core trust, personality contracts, leaving the child fewer and more rigid behavioral options. 

Thus, in compass terms, the process of personality development is framed within a continuum that ranges from the actualizing balance of compass living to the rigidities of trends or patterns. All four compass points are present as potentiality in children, since humans are made in the image of God.

The developmental tasks that lead toward personality wholeness emphasize some compass points more than others, depending upon the child’s particular stage of growth. In the first year of life, in which infants and their parents enter a dance of budding intimacy, the Love compass point is the primary locus for healthy intrapsychic and interpersonal growth. As infants are cuddled, talked with, bathed, and changed with caring consistency, they learn about love in sensorimotor ways, developing a sense of trust from the care they receive.

But there are potential risks for the development of secure attachment. Infants may receive infrequent, disengaged care from a mother who is depressed and withdrawn on the weakness compass point. Or, if an infant is biologically predisposed to irritability, the parent may respond in kind, especially if the parent already exaggerates the Assertion compass point.   

In the second year, toddlers explore the Assertion compass point by testing interpersonal boundaries as they investigate their immediate world. Avidly curious, they move to learn, searching out the nooks and crannies of their universe with their bodies, hands, and mouths. If their parents set limits with kindness, toddlers learn a rhythm between rudimentary self-expression and restraint. They protest out of Assertion and acquiesce from Weakness, while feeling grounded in the comfort of the Love compass point.

Toddlers will have difficulty developing this rhythm if parents rigidly over-control or under-control their exploration. Toddlers may respond by developing a compensatory rigidity of their own, moving into frequent temper tantrums or inhibited fearful behavior. The situation can be complicated by the toddler’s predisposition to shyness. The potential result is either Assertion or Weakness, exaggerated at the expense of a rhythm between the two.

Preschool children expand the context of Assertion to include the exploration of their creativity. They test limits with newfound verbal skills. Increased social and cognitive skill brings more sensitivity to their own and others' feelings as well as more awareness of behavioral standards. One of the consequences is short-term healthy guilt. In compass terms, children of this age are deepening their experience of the Weakness compass point.

But if preschoolers are frequently judged or punished, or if they are primarily ignored when rude or aggressive, then their behavior polarizes into incipient withdrawn, dependent, or aggressive trends.   

During the school age years, the heart of motivation lies in the Strength compass point. Children experience a sense of competence when they read out loud, complete a science project, or collect coins. These activities are fueled by the desire to accomplish something concrete—an end product that compares favorably to the efforts of their peers. 

When confidence grows in rhythm with healthy Weakness, school age children develop a beginning ability to assess their strengths, yet are realistic about their limitations. But if given an over-inflated sense of their capabilities, school age children can exaggerate the Strength compass point, feeling entitled to praise with little effort. Or if they are treated as incapable or unintelligent, they can retreat to the Weakness compass point, avoiding the needed risks for growth.   

Then adolescence, that period of life when the challenge of existential identity awakens. This is not to imply that a child forms little sense of identity before adolescence (or subsequently, for that matter). It means, rather, that identity formation takes precedence at this stage in order for the development of an actualizing person to proceed. Identity is a developmental task that calls upon the entire Self Compass.

The increasing ability to think abstractly allows adolescents to construct theoretical concepts. To see one’s self as separate from others. To begin the search for ideals. To pursue dialogue with God about goals, friends, and work choices. In actualizing development, adolescents learn to know and prize themselves as persons separate from their family. They cooperate with their parents when appropriate, yet take stands if they feel their identity is at risk. These growing abilities reflect the initial rhythmic relating of loving assertion and caring strength.

But adolescents whose legitimate decisions are frequently preempted by over-controlling parents can respond by rebelling, thus exaggerating the Assertion compass point through active or passive aggression. Or they can respond by complying with the identity proscribed by the parent. They retreat into the deflated Weakness of the avoidant pattern or distorted love of the dependent.

By young adulthood, the developmental focus becomes the search for intimacy. Young adults on an actualizing path give love to intimate others. And they seek to receive it. They experiment with immersing themselves in another person while preserving their own identity. But few actually experience love in dynamic rhythm with assertion, and strength in balance with humility.

In reality, the majority of young adults function with a partial Self Compass. Rigid responses are congealing into trends or patterns. If the response is aggressive, then one refutes love by insulting or arguing with those who try to offer it. If controlling, one strives for perfection to earn love, yet one’s judgmental behavior damages others' esteem. If dependent, one sacrifices one’s identity to people-pleasing neediness. If withdrawn, one pulls back from love, seeing intimacy as too dangerous a risk. 

If left unchecked, the consequences of these imbalanced responses replace a sense of intimacy with God and others with a growing isolation, even alienation.

By adulthood, the developmental initiative centers on participation in community. If the actualizing process prevails, the life of an adult reflects the LAWS of personality and relationships in one’s work, family life, and interest in the common good. 

It is as if every adult needs to revisit the developmental tasks of 1) forming attachment bonds with others, 2) asserting one’s identity and individual differences, 3) handling vulnerability and anxiety without undue stress, and 4) developing esteem for self and others.