Is God's Love Really Unconditional?

God’s love, as presently viewed in general culture, embraces an unconditional regard for all people, possessing only an accelerator for loving people, only moving forward to bless them no matter what they think, feel, or do, and no matter how they respond or don’t respond to him.

But this is not the God of the Bible, the God of Judeo-Christian revelation, who clearly possesses both deep expressions of love as well as discerning restraint, love that takes into account how human beings respond to him. 

God of the Bible

The Lord takes faithful care of those who trust in him and become like him, but pulls back from those who dismiss or dislike him, or deny his existence. In other words, while God in eternity loves blessing all who receive and obey him, in time he exercises discernment about whom he loves and how much he loves them.

The Bible repeats this consistent theme: 

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands. But those who hate him he will repay to their face by destruction; he will not be slow to repay to their face those who hate him” (Deut 7:9-10). 

Jesus further emphasizes the conditional nature of God’s love when he says, “If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love” (Jn 15:10).

And, Jesus says, "You are my friends if you do what I command" (Jn 15:14).

From a human point of view, it can sound like God is playing favorites and being picayunish about the conditions he places on his love. But from the divine point of view, God is unwilling to squander his love on foolish relationships and imprint his stamp of approval on unrighteous behavior. He really does know the secret motivations that drive behavior, discriminating between those who seek him in their heart and those who don’t.

It is true that God is love, but his love is tempered with wisdom that balances expression and restraint. He expresses more of himself and his blessings to those who enter a reciprocal relationship with him, while applying restraint to those who harden their hearts. 

The Bible shows again and again how people can break down, nullify, or destroy the love bond that God initiates by perpetuating negative patterns of behavior, patterns that also break down human relationships. The Bible also describes how God can alternate between blessing and cursing people, cherishing or abandoning them, according to whether or not they abide in him.

Christ provides expression/restraint guidelines for human love: 

Expression and Restraint

 

For the forward rhythmic swing of the arc Jesus says, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Lk 10:27). Christ wants those who love him to take on his passion for the wellbeing of humanity. 

So during the course of a day, persons are to watch out for the welfare of others, helping strangers in need, displaying kindness toward employees in stores and fellow drivers on the freeway, and expanding tenderness in one’s heart for friends and family members.

By the same token, the backward rhythmic swing of the arc represents an equally crucial teaching of Christ: “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves” (Mt 10:16). 

Naïve love can result in a world of trouble, because many human situations call for a more objective assessment of people’s intentions and less of a subjective, heartfelt involvement with the person. Responding with an open heart to everyone who shows interest leaves a person with no defense against the manipulative patterns of a con artist or narcissist.

For more, read: 

Trusting in The Trinity: 

Compass Psychotheology in Action

Trusting in The Trinity